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How exactly does one fail a "gender test"?!
I mean, I know how to categorize people and things into genders (and yeah, there are more than 2), but can you imagine the methodology used in this case?
Makes me glad there's usually no question about my gender...or ever, really.
I am not knocking religion, religious people, or prayers. Not all of them, anyway.
I can't deny that something bothers me when all someone does is pray. And pray. And pray. Going to church, temple, meetings, donating hard-earned money to their congregations, sometimes to the detriment of their own families. For what? Must be for something. They have a right to do it, as long as they don't try to make me do it, too.
But the problem is not going or donating or even praying. The problem is, they think that by doing any or all of the above, the world will change, and the people around them will change...while doing absolutely nothing, about the world, about the people around them, and above all, about themselves.
Do they really think that by praying, donating, etc., their lives will improve? That karma changes by mere thought? That a miracle would suddenly strike people's hearts and make them react more kindly? That it's really "them" rather than "you"?
I attended such gatherings a long time ago. Anxious about that promotion? Pray that your boss will decide in your favor. No domestic bliss at home? Pray for a softening of hearts. Loved ones don't approve of your practicing your religion? Pray for their acceptance. Prayer, the miraculous cure to all of your problems, as long as you are diligent. As long as you have faith.
I did it. I get it. But the older I become, the less I understand it, how people can expect all sorts of things to happen and others to change without actively doing something. Prayer is about as passive as it comes. The constant praying sans action is like asking for a windfall when you haven't done much to deserve it. There must be something more productive that can be done.
These people may go through the motions of self-reflection, but at the end of the day, I don't really think they get it.
It may really be "you." The first change must come from within.
I swear, there is a reason why I'm sometimes anti-social and a misanthrope.
I hate having to deal with people right now. Having to deal with family is a pain in the derriere, too.
One of my cousins is doing an exchange program out in Where-The-Sun-Don't-Shine, Kansas, this academic year. When we last saw her in the summer, we invited her to come and spend Christmas at our house, since this would be the first time she's ever been abroad, and it'd be nice for her to see family.
Sounds good and simple, right? The whole affair has taken more of my time and energy than it should have, and it continues to go to hell in a handbasket.
First, my cousin couldn't decide what days she wanted to be here. Repeated emails from me asking her what her plans were and prodding her to buy her tickets soon. I suggested a travel agency that speaks Chinese, hoping she'd make her own plans because she knew her schedule better. Playing a literal game of telephone is no fun; it was ridiculous for me to be the messenger between her and the travel agency.
So, I kept asking her what her plans were so we could accommodate her, pick her up, etc. No word for some time, then I found out she's been trying to email the agency because she cannot call the outside from her dorm phone. Uh, Chinese travel agencies don't really do emails. I was dumbfounded that she thought she could get away with not making any domestic calls, so I suggested she get a phone card to call the agency. She then told me she could use her computer to call out.
Then I found out she planned to come and stay here with a friend, whom she decided to invite without having checked with anyone here.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't like the idea of having a complete stranger staying in my house. And possibly looking through our things. (If you can't feel comfortable in your own home, where else?) Especially when I don't even know my own cousin well, since we never grew up together. But whatever, I can look past that, my cousin is family, and she can use some company on the tours she'll be going on.
Yesterday, I got an email from her, asking me if she, her friend, AND her friend's mom could all stay here on 12/24 and 12/25. Apparently, her friend's relatives, who live around here, didn't have enough room to put them up. So the friend's mom decided to visit knowing this...why?! We, ourselves, don't have enough rooms or beds; my cousin and her friend already have to share a full-sized bed. And, hello, we weren't given any notice. Plus, a second complete stranger in my house? My holidays already suck because I'll be extremely busy, my insomnia is back due to stress, and one parent will be in Taiwan instead. Now I have to cater to and entertain people I know nothing about?
So, I wrote back to my cousin and told her that if they were all to come here, there wouldn't be enough beds/rooms, and someone would have to sleep on the sofa or floor. I never told her they shouldn't come here - hey, at least we're offering a place to sleep, as opposed to no place/room at all. I also told her that I will be very busy and likely won't be able to drive her around to all the places she wants to go to. That's all the honest truth.
Today, word got back to me that the friend's mom has now decided not to come (I think to the US...at all) because I suggested it. WTF?! I've also been accused of "not being Chinese enough" and not doing things the "Chinese way." Now I'm the bad person and made to feel guilty because other people planned poorly and acted with impropriety?
Yeah, I'm American. I've lived in the US most of my life, and I am thankful everyday for the opportunities I've had here. But deep down, I'm still very Chinese/Taiwanese. Whatever. I'm fluent in the language. I still count and do math in Chinese. Taiwanese food still comforts me like nothing else. I take off my shoes inside the house, I use a separate face towel, I prefer using chopsticks, I keep all of my clothes covered in plastic bags, I wash and reuse disposable containers, and I practically sleep on a wooden board just like my grandma. Along with a whole slew of other things I think/do that would have me labeled a FOB.
If my cousin, her friend, her friend's mom, and other people who are involved were "Chinese" in the first place, I wouldn't have to vent about this on a blog.
If the Chinese way requires that I pretend to be happy and to lie and accommodate people who don't know what they're doing, then I want no part of it. (It's not.)
Then again, maybe I don't know after all, because I've been too Westernized and not Chinese enough anyway!
You'd think it fairly easy to have a voter's registration card mailed to you with a simple call, but NO. Everything gets more complicated when you are forced to deal with people whose bulbs obviously aren't lit, and who just happen to be part of the bureaucracy.
I'm trying to get a library card. To get a library card, I need to prove I'm a resident of my city. One of the forms of proof accepted is a voter's registration card, which is supposed to be mailed to you when you register to vote. Another form of proof is a valid driver's license from this state. Because I don't have a license from this state - my current one won't expire for a while, and I don't feel like waiting hours at the DMV to get a new one yet - I figured it would be the easiest to present my voter's registration card.
I've been trying to get that damn card since mid-October.
First, I had to register to vote in this state. Got my registration form, mailed it, didn't hear anything for weeks. Got nervous and called the county registrar's office a week before the last election, only to find out my form was "pending" because I didn't have this state's driver's license. However, the form allowed me to put down the last 4 digits of my SS# as an alternative - so I did - but apparently that was a problem. (So why do they even offer it as an alternative?!)
Only after 4-5 calls on my part did I manage to get my status changed to "ok," just a day before elections. Almost didn't get to vote.
So, I still need the registration card. Several previous calls ended with someone taking my name, address, and number, and promising that a card will be mailed to me. Yesterday was my 5th call to the county registrar's office because I still haven't gotten mine. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Hi, this is my 5th call to the county registrar's. I need a copy of my voter's registration card mailed to me."
Rep: "Oh no, we don't mail those out. You can get one at the post office, the fire department, police station..."
(Thinking I recognize this voice, and I've talked to this person before. She's obviously not getting it. Feeling blood boil...)
Me: "No, no, no. I don't want a registration form (note: My 3rd call resulted in a form getting mailed to me, even though I told the person I am already registered. So they stopped mailing those out...now?) I'm already registered to vote. I need a copy of my registration card..."
Rep: "You don't need your card to vote if you're already registered."
(Getting very annoyed because I've already heard this 5 times, plus, she kept trying to cut me off as if she knew why I was asking. HELL no. She ain't smarter than me.)
Me: "No, no! You don't understand. I know I'm in the system. I know I don't need my card to vote. But I need the card to prove I'm a resident of my city so I can apply for a library card. A registration card was supposed to have been mailed to me. I've called 5 times already."
Rep: "Oh. Let me check with my supervisor."
(WTF?! She needs to check with her supervisor to know what to do? Isn't she the same person I've spoken with several times already, and every time she handed my info to her supervisor?!)
Rep: "Let me transfer you to the election's department."
(Didn't know there's a special department. Should've told me the first time around so I didn't have to deal with this dingbat for the nth time.)
Fortunately, the guy I spoke to supposedly knew what I was talking about. Unfortunately, I assumed he was a dingbat like that other person and went on a little tirade explaining to him exactly what I needed, only to get the answer: "Ma'am, I know what you're talking about...It's a yellow postcard that's mailed out to voters who have registered. You should get it in a couple of days."
Doh. Well, I'll believe it when I see it in the mail. But good god, my taxes are paying who?! And those people are employed while many recent grads still can't find jobs because...?
